why love can die so suddenly?

The ironies of relationships, or is it only applicable to MY past relationship only... But maybe, only with Mr. A (Let's just call him that)..

Not that I particularly enjoy writing about him in my blog, in fact, as far as I am concerned... I'd rather he not be anywhere around me, now and forever. Not that I hate him, in fact I don't. I actually thought we can still be friends after we are no longer an item. Hah! How naive can I be?

The story about Mr. A and I is one about a rather long and intensive relationship, in fact, we pratically breathe the same air everyday. For almost four straight years, we thought we were destined to be together... see, we THOUGHT.

In fact, I really did not realise that he is not what I really want in my life till he screamed at me over the phone on one fine day. Reason for being totally unreasonable? I cannot be home earlier to join him and his family for a take-away dinner because I am in a business discussion. While he is happily at home, resting, I am out there working and travelling all over the island doing work for OUR company.

Maybe what people say is true... When a woman thinks she is in love, she will do things that don't make sense at all, and that includes letting her partner walk all over her and bulling her into submission. She will still have the strength to forgive and love that person all the same. While men on the other hand can only be happy that they get it their way, not even realising that women are just like them, made of the same flesh and blood and we have emotions as well.

The screaming issue was one thing, it was alot more than that. I was so hurt and disappointed that I almost felt nothing. After the meeting, my legs simply carried me to the train station and somehow, I was on my way back home, my own home... The train ride home really bewildereed me... I remebered how I always cry everytime we have an argument, how he will insist on his ways and how he will threaten and bully me into submission. It irked me and suddenly I felt so disgusted with him, and us.

I spent a day at home thinking, doing virtually nothing but think about us. I could not convince myself that Mr. A and I are right to each other. So I asked for a time-out the very next day.

When he cried and begged that I don't leave him, I was so guilt-riddened that I was almost close to giving in again. I asked him why regret only when it happens? Why is it that he never learn from his lessons? And his reply left a dead and foul taste in my mouth. It was because I never let him know.

There and then, I realised he had never respected me.

If a man cannot respect the woman he loves, what love is there to talk about in the first place? Because love embodies not just that warm fuzzy feeling, or that sheer sense of bliss when you are with the person you love. It is about commitment, sharing, communication and most importantly, RESPECT.